Mr. Nice Guy

After years of careful study I have determined that "nice guys" do in fact "finish last." It all started when I was in elementary school, there I learned how to share (give other people your stuff so they can move away and never see you again), be polite (let people cut in line in front of you when you've been patiently waiting for hours or let others walk all over you in some other fashion), and how to play nice (never get want you want and always defer to other people's opinions). I've learned over the years how to get around the problems that are inherent with these "nice guy" acts, letting me be the good guy but still get what I want, save one, how to be a gentleman and a "nice guy" around women.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to express interest in a girl while still being a "nice guy" and a gentleman? I'm not allowed to just walk up and tell a girl that I like her, because that could make her uncomfortable (and the girls at this campus are paranoid enough to assume that I'm a stalker). I can't make eye contact for very long for the same reasons. I can't look at a girl's body without objectifying her and being a pervert. I'm supposed to act like a friend to these girls that I'm interested in, and every single girl that I am friends with tells me how creepy it would feel to start dating any of their friends. I'm not allowed to hit on girls who have boyfriends (how do I find that out without you telling me or being a facebook stalker?). Honestly, I'm at my wits end here and am just about ready to say "fuck it" and just start asking every girl that interests me (whether I know their name or not) if they want to go get some coffee sometime (mind you, I've been told repeatedly not to do this because it's somehow creepy, how it's creepy I have no clue).

The worst part of all of this is that I feel like I'm the only one my age who still tries to be a gentleman and a "nice guy". Here I am, opening doors for women and getting called a sexist pig for the trouble, while the guys behind them just walk up and slap their asses and get a girlfriend for their effort. I don't know, maybe there was some lesson in Middle School that I missed where they told all of the guys how to be assholes and pick up chicks that I missed while I was sleeping and growing an extra foot (I'm 6'5" which really doesn't help diffuse the big creepy guy factor, along with the bushy eyebrows and "supposedly" intense stare).

I'll give it 'till the end of the week, then if things don't pick up girl-wise I'm just gonna go do everything that I was told not to do.

-Cory Ragsdale